Moving On, Letting Go
by King Kubar
Summary: After the war Peeta and Katniss return to district 12, slowly healing each other. But Gale returns as well, and his presence helps Katniss recover even faster. In secret they found love, and when Peeta learns this he realizes he needs to leave, form his own life now that all he ever wanted is lost to him.


Suzzan Collins Owns the Hunger Games.

**Moving On, Letting Go**

**Prologue: The Journey**

The trees flew by, countryside and mountains in the distance. The train was calm, rolling as quietly as possible, lacking the normal bumps and rattling that accompanied cars on rails. The sun was still high, still early morning. A single person looked out, his face unreadable. He sat in a single chair, bolted to the floor but made with comfy cushions with the ability to recline. The space around the chair made it possible for him to lean back fully and disturb no one, while before him was a table and opposite facing chair. It was easy to see that it was a luxury car, meant for individuals or couples to be comfortable.

The man looking out of the car window was bulky, a sign of lifting heavy objects and regular exercise, over medium height, a few inches more than five and a half feet. His hair was messy, but had a sort of charm as it fell in waves over his forehead, ash blond in color. It matched perfectly with his pale skin, but his eyes were so brightly blue it seemed impossible.

He leaned on one hand, propped up on the chair arm, not responding to anyone or anything. His eyes looked lost, searching for something he wanted.

"Mr. Mellark?" an attendant asked from his side. He turned, seeing a woman with short hair and a gentle smile. In her hands was a tray. "Your meal sir. I know it's not on par with your usual meal…"

"It wasn't made by people who killed children. That makes it infinitely better", he said, accepting the tray and placing it down. He smiled at her, genuine, and she blushed slightly. Clearly people weren't as polite as him often. She didn't leave once he took his food though.

"Thank you", she said, earning his attention. She smiled again, this time in admiration. "People will always call the Mockingjay, Katniss, the hero but we know you're a part as well. You two lit the spark, and we know that when the former Capitol had you it only drove her further. You suffered for us all, and thanks to that we live in a new age. So, thank you." She then bowed. Peeta could only nod, and though he hid it there was disdain in his eyes. When she left he returned to looking out the window, food untouched.

"At least someone got something out of it", he lamented, but sighed. He knew he shouldn't be upset, but he was human contrary to popular belief, "He'll make her happy, that's what matters."

As he sat there he remembered why he was on this train in the first place. The war was over, they were free. Well, most were. The effects of his torture, the venom still coursed through his veins, tormenting his mind. He had to stay in the Capitol for treatment, but when he was allowed home he made for District 12 as soon as possible, and from there he had tried to heal. Katniss was bad, her sister dead, nothing left to live for. He was the same, but somewhere deep inside he knew he had to help her, and he did. He tried, talked to her, rebuilt their friendship and even made her gain some life back. As he healed her she in turn healed him, helping him deal with his episodes.

But it wasn't just him. A few months after he returned, a Hovercraft descended upon them carrying someone Peeta could do with never seeing again. Gale Hawthorne, Katniss' one time best friend, home-grown stud and competition. He wasn't full of confidence like before, in fact he looked nervous. When he approached Katniss, his eyes were fearful, and hers untrusting. She had asked to talk to him alone and Peeta agreed. From then on they had all grown and healed, both men trying to help Katniss recover. There were times when she could get nervous talking about Gale to Peeta, and vice versa. Now that she had time, the thoughts of love entered her again. She could live now, and even though she was broken up about Prim she was able to move on and it was good for a time. She still had nightmares, but eventually asked Peeta not to sleep with her, saying that she had to deal with them on her own eventually.

While he was first hurt by this, Peeta got used to it. There was no other change in their lives, until he heard them arguing one day.

* * *

_**ROUGHLY ONE WEEK AGO**_

_"Katniss, you need to tell him", Gale commanded, his voice raised._

_"Why? Do you know what it would do to him?" Katniss yelled back._

_Peeta was about to enter his home to prepare dinner, he had been out gathering berries from the woods. Once he heard the yelling he had to approach, though he felt wrong that he was intruding. But he needed to know she was okay so he'd only listen for a little while to make sure._

_"I don't care. It would hurt worse later on."_

_"Things are good Gale, we're all healing. Why would you want to ruin that? He's not ready", Katniss asked. Peeta suddenly had a bad feeling._

_"Exactly, he's healing. If you tell him now it won't set him back, but tell him later and it will take even longer. I'd want to know", Gale explained._

_"Peeta isn't you Gale. Knowing we're together now would destroy him", Katniss said angrily, and Peeta froze._

_His heart began to beat rapidly, his pulse so fast he felt his body would burst. His breath was heavy, he couldn't hold in any air. In seconds he fell to the ground, his hands gripping his head. His mind screamed, felt like it was on fire with images of Katniss and Gale and from his torture. Hot tears poured from his eyes, his thoughts constantly yelling._

_"Not real, it's not real!" he screamed, fighting the images._

_"Peeta!" he heard from afar, but he couldn't look up, his head hurt too much. Katniss rushed to his side immediately. She called his name, held him as he struggled, ignored his calls and cries of her being a mutt, but in the end she needed Gale to help her move him into his home. After some time he exhausted himself and passed out._

_When he awoke he saw Katniss sitting by his bed, keeping vigil. He took the glass of water on the nightstand, taking deep breaths to keep himself calm. Katniss didn't talk; she just waited for him to compose himself._

_"How long was I out?" he asked._

_"Just the night", she answered. It went silent again and apparently neither of them knew what to say. Katniss was unnerved, Peeta was the one with the words not her, and he didn't look like he wanted to talk. "Peeta, last night…"_

_"How long?" he suddenly asked. Katniss gazed at him, unsure how to respond. "How long?"_

_"A month", Katniss admitted._

_Peeta nodded. "Why didn't you tell me?"_

_"I hurt you enough", she replied, remarking to their past, the times she ignored him, broke his heart._

_"It was going to hurt anyway. You should have told me when you decided. I would have stayed away", Peeta explained. Katniss' eyes went wide, indicating that clearly the idea did not appeal._

_"No, I never wanted that."_

_"Katniss, you know how I feel about you. And it could not have been easy on Gale. At least it explains you suddenly stopping our sleep overs."_

_There was a tone of humor in his voice, but Katniss wasn't laughing. In fact she didn't look pleased at all. "Peeta, I didn't want to make you upset."_

_"What did you think would happen when I found out? If you wanted to not hurt me you should have left me alone."_

_"It wasn't sudden Peeta. It built up over time", Katniss said defensively, "You were both here."_

_"Then why him? Just tell me that", Peeta said. Katniss locked his eyes and he could see a flare of anger. She didn't want to explain herself, but he wasn't backing down. He deserved an explanation. She sighed after a while._

_"We're all different, after the war. At first I didn't trust him, because of Prim. But he didn't order the bombs, and he knows what he became. When that was done I had both of you, and I started to notice things, like I never did. Peeta, I've known him for so long, we have so much to explore. I have a connection to him, deep. We…we were sudden"._

_"I see. At least it's not because he's better looking", Peeta said, trying to keep his tone even. But it wasn't even and Katniss looked guilty._

_"Peeta, there's nothing wrong with you", she affirmed, "I never deserved you anyway. I thought there was something, I really did, but it was there with Gale as well."_

_"I get it Katniss. He's not broken like me." Peeta didn't' want to hear anymore. Katniss could tell him how good he was, and she would, but all he wanted was her. All her words were empty, for if he was so good she'd choose him. He saw Katniss about to protest, but he thrust his hand up to silence her. "Don't. You can say that's not it, but it comes down to him being the same while I am a shadow of myself. Just leave me be Katniss, please."_

_Any words she was going to say died in her throat. She stood up and left, glancing back only once. Peeta needed to think, and wanted to do it alone._

* * *

**THE TRAIN**

Peeta finally began to eat, but the food had no taste to him. Truly nothing felt like much lately, especially when he remembered. He still couldn't tell if he was right for that week. After he learned of Katniss and Gale he closed off everyone, every single person. The first few days he was fine, but after that Katniss tried to talk to him. He never answered the door and when she broke in, he had leapt out his window so she wouldn't find him. Haymitch tried, but easily gave up. Peeta smirked at some of the times he saw Haymitch stumble around, calling him out, sounding hurt that he was shut out then laughing about it.

The only time he went out was after five days, to speak with Haymitch specifically. He asked for a list of all contacts Haymitch had in the other districts. Haymitch didn't ask why, just nodded and said 'Good'. Peeta remembered the awkward hug Haymitch gave him, telling him to be safe, how to keep his winnings and all the things he needed. Peeta also recalled the argument between Katniss and Haymitch when he was gone, and she barely noticed him leaving the hovel Haymitch called home.

That same day he went to the new train station and purchased his ticket. The looks he got from everyone were surprising. It was clear he was leaving, but they couldn't think why. He ignored them. He didn't much care for any individual from his District anymore. Most were builders, forming new shops and homes, and he knew most of his old friends were dead. There was nothing there for him anymore.

_Not a thing remains for me. Freeing I guess, having no obligations now. But I still feel…empty. I should have guessed, there never a chance_, he reasoned, and there was a surprising smile on his face. It was both sad and happy, and he felt both at what happened. Sad that he had nothing, happy he could do anything. He even felt happy at how Katniss wanted him to stay. _She was always selfish about the things she loved_.

* * *

_**THE DAY BEFORE LEAVING**_

_Two cases, both bulky, and both filling slowly. One held clothes, several full sets including dress cloths and nightwear, casual wear, shoes included. The second carried other items, pictures, a few backing items and painting supplies, as well as other necessities. He was going over some last minute supplies, hoping to get to sleep early when his bedroom door slammed open._

_"You're leaving", Katniss accused._

_"The suitcases would indicate that, yes", Peeta replied without looking at her, finishing off his checklist._

_"Why?"_

_"Katniss, I think you know why", he answered. When she didn't reply he turned around, she looked ready to cry._

_"I didn't want you to leave."_

_"What did you expect to happen, Katniss?" he asked, repeating his words from days ago._

_"Peeta, if it's because I'm with Gale, don't do this. I'm sorry, but I love him."_

_"That's not it Katniss, and don't apologize for loving him. Never apologize for that", he replied with a sigh, stepping away from his cases to address her properly. Her arms crossed her chest, waiting. He put his hands through his hair, thinking his words over. "Katniss, there's nothing here for me."_

_"What?"_

_"After the first games it could have been different. I had people, friends and family to turn to. If you had chosen Gale then, I could have learned to move on, even if I always loved you", he explained, but now, nothing. My family's dead, my friends are either in the graveyard or missing in other districts. There's not even a bakery here for me to work in. All I have is this house that holds nothing for me"._

_"But I'm here…you can help me…" Katniss tried, but Peeta shook his head._

_"You don't need my help anymore Katniss. No one needs me."_

_"I do!" she snapped._

_"YOU HAVE GALE!" his voice thundered. She had never heard his words so forceful, so angry. "If you need someone who understands the games you have Haymitch, if you need someone to hold you and keep the nightmares away, you have Gale. You don't need me."_

_"That's not true Peeta, you don't need to leave. You can stay…we can…"_

_"What do you honestly think Katniss?" Peeta asked, his expression annoyed now. It took a lot for him to reach that point with her. "Share a bed with me to chase the nightmares when Gale has work to do? Spend quality time together talking about the games and getting personal again?"_

_"No, but…you said always", she argued._

_"That was different Katniss. That's when it could have been us, when I was sure I could die", he explained. The simplicity of it struck Katniss, making it sound so easy, it hit her somewhere deep. "You have someone now Katniss. You choose him and I respect that. But I have my life Katniss, I have to live it. I'll always be your friend, but I can't stay here. I need to leave, find something"._

_"People are coming back, you could meet someone", she argued, but her voice was weaker. It wasn't a strong argument and she knew it._

_"Katniss, I love you. Somewhere deep inside I know that, and you know how much I do. People can question it all they want, but it was strong. How can you expect me to sit here, watching you and Gale? Do you know how much that hurts? I still have episodes to consider. You know how often they used the very image with the venom?" Peeta explained. His temper was flaring. He was going to tell her when he was leaving, but now she was trying to stop him. He wasn't asking much, he had accepted her choice. All he wanted was for her to let him go._

_"So you're doing this just to help yourself?" he alleged, and that's when he lost it. Katniss had done many things to him. She had broken his heart, abandoned him after the games, and when he was sick she acted like he was a beast instead of helping him. He had endured all that, but now that he was finally looking out for himself, she dared to accuse him of being selfish._

_"What more do you want!" he screamed, so loud that it scared Katniss. Surely everyone in the village could hear him. "I lost my leg for you, I was willing to die for you, planned to die for you. I was tortured for you. I did this because I loved you, I truly did. But you choose Gale, and I accept that. All I want to do is leave! Can't you give me that?" When he was done he panted, face flushed red. She couldn't form words but the tears flowed now._

_She hugged herself tightly, looking at the floor. He could hear the sobs, and all her words of 'I'm sorry'. Even now Peeta couldn't bear to see her cry, and instantly his arms circled her. He wouldn't say sorry, not for this._

_"I'm so sorry Peeta", Katniss said still sobbing. "I don't want to lose you, I don't want Snow to win." Her words only made her cry more. "I don't want you to stop loving me__."_

_"That's what happens, Katniss. If you don't love me I'll have to let go. I can't do so much for you anymore, not without it meaning anything", he said, rubbing her back, "You can't hold a person's heart when you give yours to another."_

_"I know, I know…but I have to. I have to let you go…"_

_"That's all I ask Katniss. I still want to be your friend, but I can't hurt myself loving you anymore."_

_"If it wasn't Gale, if I just didn't love anyone like that, would you still leave?" she asked._

_"When you were able to take care of yourself, yes", he admitted. She stiffened. "I'd never abandon you Katniss, you know that. But I have a life to live too."_

_They were silent after that, neither knowing what to say. Katniss couldn't argue, and anything she said would just be to try and keep him in 12, or to apologize. Peeta only had things to say about why he was leaving and after a while they separated._

_"I have to make dinner for Gale, it's my turn tonight. Will I see you again?" she asked._

_"I don't know", Peeta answered. He wasn't going to dinner if she invited him, and he most likely wouldn't see her tomorrow._

_"Will you write, or call?"_

_"I don't know. I'm not sure where I'll stay yet", he replied, But I need to forget. I can't do that if you are constantly on my mind. Haymitch will know, he can tell you if I'm safe."_

_"This feels like goodbye."_

_"It is. If I come back, I won't be the same. I won't love you. I'll just be Peeta, the baker and artist, a friend who went through a lot with you. And if I don't come back, well I don't."_

_"You were always more than that Peeta", Katniss stated, "Goodbye". Her final word as she ran down the stairs. She didn't want to let him go, but she had to. Peeta nearly broke down himself, but he was doing the right thing. Didn't help his sleep, but he did the right thing._

_/_

_The following morning Peeta was set. The sun had not yet risen, but he was a baker. He woke up early. His train would arrive soon, and he'd be on his way to new things._

_"Wonder what I'll do? I don't have to work. My winnings are for life after all", he wondered aloud._

_As he'd considered this he heard a knock on his door. Peeta sighed, only two other people would be up now, and he didn't want to talk to Katniss. A little stalling is all it would take for him to miss his train, but he'd just be annoyed. Maybe it was just a goodbye again._

_When he opened the door, it was a major surprise to see not Katniss, but Gale. The tall man shifted on his feet, clearly not comfortable. When he looked to Peeta both glared. Gale towered over Peeta, and with his military training he bulked up. He was not larger than Peeta in every way, but Peeta wasn't intimidated. Both knew that Peeta could win if they fought._

_"Mellark."_

_"Not in the mood, Gale. I have a train to catch so if you are going to have an attitude leave", Peeta stated simply, turning to head back upstairs. Gale sighed from behind him, but uncrossed his arms._

_"Peeta", he said, more evenly this time. Said baker turned around, nodding for Gale to speak, "I wish I had your words right now."_

_"You have better looks, so my words don't mean much really", Peeta retorted._

_"She didn't choose me for my looks. And that's not why I'm here", Gale replied. "I'm not going to rub it in your face. I know how much it hurts."_

_"Then what do you want Gale? I wasn't joking about the train", Peeta said. He wasn't annoyed, but he really didn't want to be bothered right now. He'd be polite later on._

_"Honestly, I have different opinions on what I want", Gale explained. "Part of me thinks you should stay."_

_"This I have to hear."_

_"Don't misunderstand. I want you as far from Katniss as possible. Insecurities and jealousy aside, I don't feel it's safe for you to be around her until you're cured. And with our relationship that would just set you off more easily. That's what my head tells me", Gale stated, pointing to his head._

_Peeta nodded, leaning on the wall, motioning for him to continue. Gale pointed to his heart next. "This traitorous thing tells me you should stay, for her. She wants you to stay, I won't say needs. I know she'd be happier if you were around, even with the pain it would cause."_

_"Gale, look. You're trying to be civil but you don't have to do this. It's no secret we don't like each other, so you don't need to make a show of goodbye", Peeta said, "I'm off, so you won't have to worry about me"._

_"I'm not good at the whole emotions thing", Gale snapped. "I don't hate you. I want to, but I can't. You're too freaking nice to hate. Look, I just want you to be safe okay. If anything happened to you she'd blame herself. She already blames herself for you leaving"._

_"Not to be crass, but that's not my problem anymore. I love her Gale, but I have a life to live too. You'll have to learn to be there for her, to comfort her, and make sure she doesn't blame herself", Peeta explained. Gale looked honestly shocked by his words, he'd never think Peeta so unfeeling. "Gale, let's not lie. We don't like each other. We never will. But she chose you and I'm happy for that, but it means I can't worry about making her feel better anymore. I want to, but that's hurting myself and disrespecting your relationship. I wouldn't be her friend if I did that"."_

_"You know, you're something else Mellark", Gale commented, "Any other guy would jump at this chance, show me up"._

_"I'm not any other guy."_

_"You deserve her more than I do. Why do you have to be so good?" Gale asked._

_Peeta shrugged. "I appreciate this Gale, I mean that. But I know you don't want to be here, and I'd be lying if I said I don't want to punch you", Peeta said. "You came here to tell me to be safe, not sure if you should ask me to stay or leave, and that's big of you. So, thank you. Keep an eye on her, okay?"_

_"Do you need to question?" Gale asked._

_"Right. Bye then."_

_And with that Gale left._

* * *

**THE TRAIN**

Peeta took another bite of his food. It still had no taste, but Peeta ate it none the less. He was just hours earlier, but his blood still boiled at the thought. Not at Katniss or Gale, but at how it happened. He felt that Gale and he had reached an understanding. Gale was trying to do right by Katniss, be kind to a friend that he was glad was leaving. They were never friends, but never enemies either. He knew how Gale felt, and couldn't blame the man for loving Katniss. He couldn't blame Katniss for loving Gale either - the heart wants what it wants. There was still a seething anger at how he wasn't told, at how it was hidden, and even at how she didn't try hard enough.

"Need to let it go", he said, but knew it wasn't that easy. He had taken the steps. He was leaving, warning that he needed not to be contacted. He was distancing himself and striving to forge a new life. With a sigh he pulled his ticket out, anticipating his arrival at a new district.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

Hello my lovelys, how are you today? Well, to add to my ever growing number of stories is a little something different. You clearly get the idea if your reading this. Now, before anyone asks or gets upset, cause some people are crazy like that, this isn't man-whore Peeta. Each chapter is a separate section that begins after the prolog. Meaning each chapter is a self contained story, a what if, of Peeta in the district of that chapter. It's not him going to 11 to get laid, then 10, and so on. Different scenarios, different people, all that. Mostly OC's used. And while I shouldn't do this I guess I may as well say you can tell me the type of girl you want for each chapter. NO KATNISS CLONES. There is guarranty of the girl in question, if an idea works I may use it. I know what I want for this, and it's different ways in which Peeta can move 's not a long story, though the chapters could be.

Originall an idea for a few oneshots, I just kind of sparked now.

If anything else, let me know.

Until Next time, the King has left the building.


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